On your confirmation

Dear Clark,
As I think of you reading this letter on the occasion of your confirmation retreat, there are so many things I feel the need to say; and yet maybe I don’t need to say anything -- parents often do way too much talking, and kids really rather be listened to anyway! What might be better is to suggest some questions that you yourself might spend time now, and over your lifetime, answering.

Who am I? What is true? What is my relationship to God, really? How well does my experience square with my beliefs? What am I to do in my life?

As you take this big step in your faith journey, I hope you’ll find some answers to those questions. But the process of finding answers is a lifelong process, and Confirmation is just the beginning. As you know, I’ve wrestled with these and other questions and it led me to the Catholic Church! Your journey of faith has brought you here as well. I’m glad of that, even if a bit surprised, given your initial resistance to the idea! :-) But what I’m most pleased about is that you’ve made your faith journey on your own. Don’t be afraid to ask questions of yourself and God. Jacob wrestled with God, we’re told, and through that experience received God’s blessing. You have a smart mind; you’re a deep thinker; and you have a tender heart. God has great things in store for you.

I have such an appreciation for you, Clark. You’ve always occupied a special place in my heart, you know -- my baby! Confirmation is a good time to tell you how special and dear you are. You occupy a unique spot in our family. Most of the rest of us are loud and extroverted and brash; you remind us of the value of quietness and depth and sensitivity. You remind us that God is close to the meek and the lowly -- because I know you often feel like you’re the lowly one, on account of your birth order and of being sometimes misunderstood by those who are different from you in many ways. You remind us that we are a family, not by virtue of all being alike, but by virtue of us sharing our lives and our love with one another, regardless of differences.

I have many hopes for you as well. In fact, one of the first (maybe the first) prayers I asked of the Virgin Mary was on your behalf. I hope you’ll be a man of prayer and contemplation. I hope you’ll be a man of tenderness and strength of character and compassion -- that is to say, a good man. I hope you will learn to forgive others. I’ll never forget that discussion you and I had going to the apple orchard and back several years ago. I remember the conversation itself being an answer to prayer, but even more I remember the awe I felt at catching a glimpse of your heart of hearts. I pray you’ll keep your heart open to the world, and that you won’t hide it protectively away. You have a good heart that can bless the world.

As you consecrate yourself to God in Confirmation I pray God’s blessings on you in all your endeavors. I pray you’ll continue growing in your faith, through the sacraments, through doing good, through prayer. When you falter in your faith, when you encounter doubts, when you fail to do what’s right -- -- I hope you’ll be honest with yourself and with God, and that you’ll seek to talk to me or others you trust. We all do encounter doubts, and we all fail to live up to our ideals. It may be hard for you (as you tend to go inside yourself) but faith is a community affair. We all need each other! That’s why Jesus founded a Church -- because we gain so much spiritually from relationship with one another. You have your family, you have the saints, you have a brotherhood of other Christians to support you and encourage you along the way. And you, Clark, have so much to offer the rest of us!

Peace, joy, and blessings to you, dear!
I love you,
Mom