A day to myself

We are at the beach, and so today I decided I'd go to Charleston by myself. This is a luxury, although it doesn't sound so special. Just to be able to stroll along King, Queen, Market, Broad, Meeting, East Bay and all the picturesque streets of downtown Charleston, without anyone bugging me to leave! Ahhhh. So I spent the majority of my time doing a gallery crawl of all the art galleries in the French Quarter. My exciting find of the day is pictured! It is a portrait of Mackenzie by Dabney Mahanes, featured at the Eye Level Gallery on Queen Street. Mackenzie modeled for us one day, and Dabney told me that the finished product was at "a gallery on Queen Street". I kept looking till I found it. For $800 it could be mine. I love her work, but can't swing that. After catching all the art galleries, I shopped for shoes (none) and clothes. I found a store with several things I liked (called Affordables, an unlikely name on King Street!) Then I went to my favorite art supply store and picked up some linen canvasses and charcoals. Stopped in West Ashely and picked up a book for Clark, as well as the game Imagineiff. When I came home the kids and I played it, and had a great time with it. The only bad part of the day is that Bill's had a toothache that's been bugging him for a few days and he's knocked out with pain meds. Otherwise a pretty delightful day!

Five weird things about me you might not know

I got tagged by Julie and so here goes (and Julie, I don't know how to make your name a link):

1. I'm not allergic to Poison Ivy
2. I'm so normal this is hard... The most romantic place I've ever been, I went to with my children. I simply MUST take my dh back to Santorini, in Greece!
3. I pick out perfect dogs. People call me to help them select a dog. I have a knack for finding good breeds, and good, happy, well adjusted pets.
4. I rip all the advertising cards out of magazines before I'll touch the magazine. Those things are my pet peeves.
5. I like to burp really loud.

A Christmas Carol (by G K Chesterton)

The Christ-child lay on Mary's lap,
His hair was like a light.
(O weary, weary were the world,
But here is all aright.)

The Christ-child lay on Mary's breast
His hair was like a star.
(O stern and cunning are the kings,
But here the true hearts are.)

The Christ-child lay on Mary's heart,
His hair was like a fire.
(O weary, weary is the world,
But here the world's desire.)

The Christ-child stood on Mary's knee,
His hair was like a crown,
And all the flowers looked up at Him,
And all the stars looked down

I shoulda had a camera!

This morning I'm at Edisto Beach. We just got in around 12:30 last night, and the dog's execratory system woke me up. So he and I trundle off to the beach, where he's allowed to run off-leash since it is after Halloween. The morning sky was gorgeous peach and pink, with the sun just popping over the horizon, only to slide behind a screen of violet clouds. I sat there and just listened to the surf and watched the sunrise, while the dog sniffed along the strand. I turned to look behind me, and what should be plastered over me but a rainbow! It isn't rainy or anything, but there I was, smack dab under the arc of the clearest rainbow I've ever seen. It stopped me in my tracks.

I collected Zeus eventually, and we headed back to the house. Just as we are about to turn into our driveway, out of the palmetto trees swoop a pair of great herons. They banked in front of us and soared away down the street. Amazing. What a way to start a day!

Breathing room

Today I officially started thinking about Christmas. I ordered the trampoline, which they say will be here by Friday the 22nd. I have lined up someone to assemble it while we are at the beach from Friday - Sunday. I'm trying to figure out where to get black Converse AllStars now. We got a postcard from Grayson, as well as a few text messages, saying he's in Alice Springs, headed for Ayers Rock, and that he will miss us on Christmas. I'll miss him too.

My dear friend Beth lost her pet doggie, Zoe. Zoe was my dog Zeus' best friend. So it is a sad event for Bethie, but sad too because Zeus won't understand where Zoe is when Beth comes over. Beth hopes to get another dog, and quick. So sad.

Clark's confirmation was a special event for him. I love the aspect of it that he is the center of the universe for awhile, and not because of some game he's playing in, or some recital he's practiced for, or some accident he's had.... just because he's a person acknowleging that his spiritual path is important. That's it. That's the whole of confirmation: yes, I believe this stuff, and it matters to me. So I'm glad that he opted to take this step. He was pulled aside by Bishop Baker beforehand, and brought into the Catholic Church, so that he could be confirmed in it! So it was his joining the church, being confirmed in the church, first confession, and first communion, all rolled up together. The ceremony was beautiful and long. Bishop Baker gave a homily on stewardship. Gigi walked forward with Clark as his sponsor, and Clark assumed the confirmation name of Melchizedek. With as strange a name as that is, my parents (who did come to it!) didn't even ask the significance of it! I thought that was pretty shocking. BUt I shouldn't be shocked...there is a history of just not talking about things that they wish never happened. So I should have known there would have been no curiosity exhibited. But I'm grateful they came and sat through the service for Clark's sake.

The next day, Clark participated in the ordination of our friend Dwight. Clark had a very visible role as the book-bearer for the bishop. He ended up being the one who had to act as a human podium for the Bishop's homily. So for 30 minutes or so he knelt very still. This was the first time he had been analtar server! What a memorable week for him.

Then on Friday I spent the day planning a reception for Dwight. And LaQuinta moved out! She found a rental house, and so she left. I hope good things for her.

Saturday I slept and kept on my jammies all day.

Sunday night, we went to one of those parties where you just know that the whole time you are being sized up. I hate that. So no matter that the food was good, the home was lovely, the decorations tasteful....I still could not wait to get out of there. Bill even commented as we left how grateful he was that I was nothing like the women at the party. I told him I felt out of place, and he replied, "You WERE out of place! And thankfully!!"

Not keeping up

I'm not keeping up with my life. My only time to myself is moments like this...the hours when everyone else is in bed, and I have insomnia to thank that I'm not. Advent's supposed to be a time of reflection, but I find myself unable to reflect and pray because of all the activity.... and I haven't even begun shopping yet!

My only source of online friendships is closing next month. So that leaves me in a place of grief, vulnerability, and loss. I'm coping with that news, and it's forcing me to rethink my time committment to the internet. It's forcing me to recognize that it may be a blessing in disguise, because it affords me a chance to connect more fully with the real world; to renegotiate my relationship with cyberspace. Folks at this forum are hurting as well, and it is making me evaluate all the years' investment I've given to the relationships. To be sure, the forum has been a bright spot in my days, a source of inspiration toward change, a support group from which to bounce ideas and experiences. It has been a rich experience. But this whole overnight evaporation of the entity... it has me doing some major reevaluation.

LaQuinta and that whole experience has been incredibly draining. Her values and culture are such that I'm having a hard time respecting. Shirking responsibility, inconsideration, poor communication, imposition ... it has all taken a huge toll on me, and on my family. Clark has mistakenly felt that we wanted him to serve as babysitter for the girls. Mackenzie, my chipper one, has been in a funk of losing the sense that his house is his castle, as has Bill. Something's gotta change, and I think we're going to just pay some rent for her in order for her to move out this weekend. We need to inhabit our own home again before Christmas. We need a break. I cannot say it hasn't been a good experience, insofar as we've alleviated a need, we've learned from the inside about a culture and way of life that was foreign, we're given of ourselves and hopefully made a difference in the lives of the little girls. I wouldn't trade it, honestly. But time's up.

Our dear friend is being ordained to the priesthood (actually, this happened last night) and I'm in charge of the reception on behalf of the school, where he'll be chaplain. So throwing this party has been my responsibility, and the reception is tonight. I have no idea whether it will go well or not. I am hoping so, but ... you there's only so many hours between now and then, and I have no idea whether we'll have 75 people or 300. A bit tough to plan for, eh?

And Clark was received into the church and confirmed Wednesday. What a path for him to want to do that! I need to do a blog post just about that event. Then last night, with exactly 24 hours of being a Catholic under his belt, he served a very visible role as a server at our friend's ordination. He held the book for the bishop. So he spent two hours in front of a huge crowd of clergy and friends on his knees before the bishop, standing, moving, trying to figure out the ropes of altar service. He did an exceptional job. Amazing.

Then there is Grayson. He has left (Friday morning, Australia time) with a friend he met over there in a rental van for a month long trek around the Outback. He's heading first to the Great Barrier Reef, then down to Ayer's Rock, and on to the cities along the southern coast of Adelaide and Melbourne, finishing up at Sydney. What an adventure. But what a lot for a mother to deal with, thousands of miles away.

And I've no presents for Christmas. And my house is a wreck. And my homeschooled child needs to have exams written, and review sheets for said exams, and applications filled out for school next year... and his mom thus far has not succeeded at that.

I'm just not keeping up with my own life. There's too much needed of me, too much emotion elicited from me. I gotta find a way to cope with all this.

Advent Begins!

I pulled decorations down yesterday, intent on getting my Advent wreath set up before it was actually needed (a departure from the usual practice). I don't have many Christmas decorations and sometimes I wish I did. Like now. :-) But I think I'd rather be minimalist than excessive if I had to choose. If I can decorate the stairway with garland, the front door with a wreath, two mantels, and a tree ... that will be enough. I don't have a theme, or a collection of kitchy artifacts, most likely because those things just aren't meaningful to me. I'd have to manufacture an interest in, say, nutcrackers, which I don't currently possess. But I do love a home that feels cozily Christmas, and so I'll try to find that balance.

This is going to be a full season for us. The beach house is available this month to us, so I know that Bill is going to want to go down there a time or two. Then there is LaQuinta and her housing issues to consider. Then Clark's confirmation on the 13th, and our friend's ordination on the 14th, and the reception in his honor the 15th that I'm in charge of organizing. Somewhere in there I've got to figure out what I'm going to get everyone and shop for it! And decorate! And finish up the semester of homeschooling! And start a new painting class! And cook nourishing meals so I don't swell up like a balloon with holiday food!

I guess everyone feels the pinch of the holidays. I wish it weren't so, but it seems to be almost a matter of fact. Last night we intentionally didn't go to something we were supposed to be at just to have a boring evening! This in part because, Bill's concussion is still giving him trouble. For instance, he tried to help bringing down boxes from the attic, and immediately got a headache. He is supposed to fly to Chicago today, and I'm worried that this trip might be too taxing on him right now.

Anyway, Advent begins today, and I hope that the season brings a measure of blessed peace with it!