Confirmation, Easter, and other mysteries

The service of Easter Vigil is like everything in the church rolled up in one! Three of the seven sacraments are celebrated, and so it has a very festive but dignified feel to the entire occasion. After seeing the church completely bare on Good Friday (no cloth on the altar, no candles, no water in the font, statues and crucifixes covered, silent), it is so delightful to see the church decked out in its finery for Easter, the front awash with lilies, music, candles, everything spit and polished.

We got there an hour early to get a seat, so there was plenty of time for reflection. That's one of the things I love...everyone comes in and sits....there's no talking or visiting, just praying, meditating, reading Bibles, etc. All my children came, and all the boys wore suits. Real suits, with ties and starched shirts and everything. That is the first miracle of my Catholic life. And we were on time, even.

The service lasted two and a half hours, but it was one of those times when there is so much happening that you really don't feel like so much time has passed. If they had not omitted some of the readings, it would have been more like three hours. Two of my Catholic friends, and one Protestant friend were there joining in the event. One sadness for me is that my family did not choose to attend. I have really had to struggle with forgiveness, and I guess I'm still struggling with it, since I'm mentioning it! It's a bit like them not liking the guy I was going to marry, so refusing to go to the wedding. The similarities of the service (and of what I was doing!) to a wedding kept occuring to me. The next day at Easter lunch, no one in my family even mentioned our confirmation the night before, so opposed to it are they. Funny thing though ...the front page picture of the local newspaper on Easter morning was a photo of the very service (we could even pick ourselves out in the crowd) so the family was reminded of it without our saying a word!

Anyway, the service goes like this (none of you may want to know all this, but it does me good to write it down!):

- First the fire is built outside the church. This is struck from flint (symbolizing the stone of the tomb from which emerged Jesus the Light of the World). The fire is fed with holy oil, so you hear what sounds like french fries spattering in hot grease coming into the church. This fire is used to light the Easter candle, which burns until next Good Friday. The priest invites everyone to celebrate saying: "Dear Friends in Christ, on this most holy night, when our Lord Jesus Christ passed from death to life, the Church invites her children throughout the world to come together in vigil and prayer. This is the passover of the Lord: if we honor the memory of his death and resurrection by hearing his word and celebrating his mysteries, then we may be confident that we shall share his victory over death and live with him for ever in God." The candle is blessed and processed down the aisle (that's what happening in the picture)

- Easter is proclaimed. THe cantor chants this truly sublime text, which reminded us very much of the declaration of Passover in the Jewish Haggadah. My favorite line: "Night truly blessed, when heaven is wedded to earth and man is reconciled with God!"

- Liturgy of the Word: there are nine readings but our church elected to omit some for the sake of time (in parenthesis). The pattern is Reading/Psalm (which is sung responsively)/Prayer. These are the reading used:
Genesis 1:1-2:2, Psalm 104
Genesis 22:1-18, Psalm 16
Exodus 14:15-15:1, Psalm is Exodus 15
(Isaiah 54:5-14, Psalm 30
Isaiah 55:1-11, Psalm is Isaiah 12
Baruch 3: 9 -4:4, Psalm 19
Ezekiel 36:16-28, Psalm 42-43)

After the last Old Testament reading, it is so exciting. All the light immediately are turned up (the church has been candlelit up to this time), the churchbells all ring, it sounds like a fire alarm going off! -- and the organ and trumpets and congregation begin singing the "Gloria". The Gloria is sung every Sunday except in Lent, but this is the Gloria to end all Glorias! "Glory to God in the Highest and peace to his people on earth..." It's one of those moments where you feel like you are almost doing justice to the resurrection! Then the New Testament readings continue:

Romans 6:3-11, Psalm 118
Matthew 28:1-10.

I love how the readings all tell an interwoven story, and the psalm beautifully reflects upon the theme of the reading preceding it. While the readings do take a lot of time, you feel like you are really hearing what the heart of your faith is, and you get a sense of the overarching idea that the Bible (taken together) is communicating. At least, that's how I experienced it!

- The liturgy of baptism. At Easter Vigil, anyone who wants to become a Christian comes for baptism. They have prepared for several months, learning about the faith and deciding for themselves if this is truly the move they want to make. The priest reads their name, and they with their sponsors (godparents) process to the rear of the church where the baptismal font is located. (While they process, we sing the litany of the saints, which is the only really glaringly CATHOLIC part of the service; it involves asking a whole mess of saints to pray for us!) The font is placed at the rear of the church rather than the front to symbolize that one must be baptised to enter the church. Everyone, upon entering the church, dips into the baptismal font and makes the sign of the cross, to remind themselves of their own baptism. After each person is baptized, the choir sings them an anthem! I think we had 10 people baptized, so that was a lot of singing!

- Receiving those who want to come into full communion with the Catholic church. This is my part He calls us individually with our sponsors, and we process to the rear of the church, where we stand while he asks us the question you must answer affirmitively if you want to become a Catholic! "Do you believe all that the Catholic Church teaches to be true?" (or something close to that). Then all those who've been received, either by profession of faith or by baptism, then proceed forward to receive the sacrament of confirmation. Never having been in a church that practices confirmation as a sacrament, I didn't quite know what to expect. You must choose a name of someone, particularly a saint, who you feel an affinity for or who you admire their spirituality. This is the name you are addressed by in confirmation. The sponsors walk forward beside each person, introducing them to the priest by their confirmation name. The priest says "Be sealed with the Holy Spirit of God" and makes the sign of the cross on your head with oil mixed with balsam. It smells nice. You say, "Amen." I think we had 70 or so people come into the church and be confirmed.


When all this is done, the priest asks the congregation to renew their baptismal vows (the vows sound very archaic and quaint, but they are: Do you reject Satan? And all his works? All all his empty promises? This is followed by Do you believe...(statements from the Apostles Creed). Then the priest takes this funky thing that holds water, and he walks down the aisles sprinkling everyone with water, to renew their vows.

- Then the regular liturgy of the eucharist is celebrated, allowing all those who've just come into the church to receive their first communion. Oh, and somewhere in there was the homily...I think after the New Testament readings were done.

After Mass, the priest addressed those in the congregation who were not Catholic, thanking them for their part in the spiritual formation of those received into the church and reminding them that becoming Catholic is not a repudiation of other Christian teaching; it is simply someone wanting to be express their faith in the context of the the Catholic church. He said that the Catholic church is like a huge mansion, that you can spend a lifetime rambling through without ever running out of new places to explore. I liked that.

For feeling like I've gone around the world to get to this place, I don't feel like the core of my faith has changed so much, really. I still am a Christian. That didn't change. And that's pretty major, I think. Many people's faith either evaporates, or changes so significantly that a change of religion is called for. What has changed for me is how I both perceive and practice my faith, not actually the content of my faith. I don't know if that makes sense. I guess many I know (like my parents, for instance) would say that my faith has changed enormously. But it still feels like me; it still feels like Christianity; it still feels like a western, 21st century, understanding of unseen realities.

I lost faith in my former understanding of Christianity, that is true. I'm more liberal in certain understandings than I was, though just as conservative in other areas; I'm more open to the truth that others find elsewhere; I'm less worried about MY way being normative for others; I'm looking over my shoulder less (not at all, actually); I feel a part of something much bigger that supercedes time, space, and death; I feel like I'm on the path to life in God; I marvel more and presume less; I'm more trusting and open to the process of God working in mysterious ways; I can be myself and feel a part of one great big gracious collection of people; I feel like a million second chances lie before me, so I don't need to fear getting it wrong this time; I feel more connected to my humanity and the shared human experience; and I hope to God I'm a better person.

43 and counting

I passed my 43rd birthday with all the attendant requisite hoopla. Little did I know when I embarked on this marriage, this family what a job I was taking on. Maybe it is a good thing I dove into this live blind and young, neither set in my ways nor sure what those ways were. It's a good life, don't get me wrong; more good things than I can count. And I don't need to toil laboriously like so many in the world. But this life -- my life -- has taken more strength and perseverance than I ever dreamed I possessed. That's all. It hasn't been pretty, but I don't know that anyone gets a guarantee of "pretty". I've tried to make my small world better, that's all I can say.

I got these questions from another blogger, and I'm posting the rules to this game here.

The Official Rules of the Interview-Game
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions
6. I will answer reasonable follow up questions if you leave a comment.

Here are my questions, thanks to julieunplugged.com.

1. What themed party would you love to create and host some day (forget about the cost-sky's the limit)?

Right now, after having staged an audition film around this theme, I think it would be fun to have an Amazing Race party. You'd get clues, have tasks, and travel in groups of 4 all over a city (or limited area), and at each task there would be some 'local' food and drinks. Since cost isn't an issue, I'd have cameramen go with each group. Then at the Pit Stop, there would be great food, dancing, etc. Meanwhile the camerapeople would edit their film down and put together a 30 minute show of the highlights of the race. The winners would get some special nice prize, and maybe the "congeniality couple" would get a prize as well.

We went to a similar party last year, called a Road Rally. There weren't tasks, but there were clues you had to follow and questions you had to answer. At the end of the day, we all went to a great restaurant and had a fantastic party.



2. Which book is on your nightside table? Why did you put it there—why are you reading it?

The Daily Readings for the liturgical year, and Mary: A Biography of the Virgin Mother. My dd gave me this for my birthday: it's a feminist, non-Catholic biography of Mary, taking in the culture and customs, etc. It looks well-written and interesting.

3. What prayer (or call-response or creed) in the weekly mass is the most meaningful to you and why?

It changes, but consistently, I'd say it is this response before communion: "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed." It reminds me, if I've forgotten, that I'm not perfect; and if I'm well aware of my imperfections, it gives me the hope of grace in the form of healing and wholeness. So it speaks to whatever state my heart is in.

4. How can someone make you weak in the knees?

The last time I was literally weak in the knees (couldn't stand up) was when I thought Clark had gone missing from the house. The cops were there getting a recent picture and calling in the helicopters. I remember falling to the ground, unable to take it.

But I don't think that's what you were talking about! :-)

I guess, nibbling on my neck! :^D A second runner-up (that I don't get often enough!) is getting a massage, a foot massage, a scalp massage that isn't (A) too rough - I don't want all the knots in my body attacked! and (B) too rushed, wanting to get on to something else!!!

I am hard-pressed to say what emotional or verbal thing someone could do to make me weak in the knees. That isn't one of my more common emotions.

5. What is the first movie line that pops into your head? What does it mean to you?

OK, honestly it was Napolean Dynamite : "I caught you a nice bass"
Which, of course has no meaning to me! As for meaningful movie lines, this one probably scores up there:

- "You want answers?"
- "I want the truth!"
- "You can't handle the truth!"

This one seems reflective of so many people, and I don't want to be one. This line was also used on me to good effect by my dh....unfortunately, he had a point.