Why do people, married 22 years, still find themselves fighting over the same old stuff? Why is it that despite years of trying to address problems, some subjects are so rife with minefields that they become too delicate to tackle? Money, sex, children, religion, politics, family.... who wants to bring up misunderstandings on those subjects?
After having a great 2004, in which I felt like dh and I had turned a real corner, I found myself on New Year's Eve wondering if we hadn't just gone around the block, and returned to exactly the same spot. So rather than a romantic, or fun, or wild, or exotic, or ... whatever kind of new year celebration floats your boat, we went icily to bed before awaking at midnight to dig our teeth into a fight. Hurt. Blame. Defensiveness. Mischaracterization. Retreat. Snarling. Sniffling. Trying. Failing. Praying. Withdrawing.
In the morning we tried again to get things understood and resolved. It took 30 minutes of sitting in silence because no one wanted to be the first to get the ball rolling. Maybe there is progress, since we did eventually get to a point of digging for the roots, of understanding, of apologizing.
I'm just left wondering what kind of an omen this is?
Where I can let down my hair, observe my ordinary life in all its mundane beauty and everyday pain, and say what I think.
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