insights

On the way home from the beach yesterday M and I talked a lot about what happened with him on new year's eve. Between the two of us we came up with these insights.
-He loves the thrill of adventure, fun, adrenaline, risk....not so much the actual form it takes (alcohol, pot, dares, etc)
-He has something going on (psychological or spiritual or both) where he forgets the wrong thing he's doing even as he's doing it. He has an incredible capacity to zone out of his own life so he doesn't have to deal with the dichotomy of belief and action, and so he doesn't feel the pangs of conscience.
-He's resistant to God, though it doesn't sound too nice to admit to it.
-What causes the greatest losses in his life are not the bad actions themselves. It is always the lying about it afterward that causes the losses...of school, of reputation, of opportunities. People are usually willing to forgive if you're really sorry and admit to your failing. If you don't demonstrate a striken conscience, and you lie to cover up, folks aren't too willing to give much.
-He lies to himself on a daily basis, always rationalizing things that are unpleasant (whether it is a pesky conscience, or homework, or whatever)
-Somehow this amalgamation of self-deceit, dulled conscience, living in a fog, thrill-seeking, risk-taking, lies, etc. is causing a cycle of self-destruction. Just when he keeps his nose clean for awhile, then he is presented with the opportunity (in whatever form it takes...could be cheating at cards, or streaking on the golf course, or stealing something just because he can, or getting high...) to take backward steps. He seizes the opportunity. Then he denies his involvement, both to himself and to others. And then he loses any forward progress he's made, and his chances for a 'normal life' get less likely.
-It really does take stuff like honor, responsibility, living with integrity, perseverance, a good name, self-discipline, and all those other old fashioned concepts to lead a normal happy life. Otherwise you're crippled.